Breastfeed VS Bottlefeed

During my confinement, I have already introduced bottles to Eunice due to some unforeseen circumstances. I asked a Malay lady to come and do urut for me during my confinement every 2 days. The massage took about 1.5 hours to 2 hours. It definitely will clash with Eunice's feeding time. So, I usually pumped and get my MIL to bottlefeed Eunice when I did my massage. Sometimes, I also pumped for my MIL to bottlefeed Eunice before she sleeps so that I can have a break. :P

However, after pumping for a few days, I realised I'm getting less and less from pumping. Previously I could easily pump out 3-4oz, but later, I could only pump out 2.5oz max. I got panicked and then I have tried my best to direct latch Eunice as much as I can to re-establish my milk supply. When my massage sessions finished, I never pump anymore and I direct latched Eunice all the time.

When I brought Eunice back to Penang after confinement, for the 2 weeks I have been direct latching her all the while despite her growth spurt and demanding feeding hour (every hour OK!)... Nursing pillow was my good friend then.

I called up Eunice's babysitter to confirm on the date when we're sending her over, and things that I need to pack over. The conversation went on to discuss about her feeding.

BBSitter: "So, how many oz is she drinking now?"
Me: "I don't know wor..."
BBSitter: "You direct latch all the while? Have u introduced her bottle yet?"
Me: "Yah, I gave her bottle during confinement, she's OK..."
BBSitter: "Nevermind, you try to give her bottle again this week and see if she can take it.. but don't feed yourself, get someone else to feed her..."
Me: "OK!"

At that time, I never thought that it will be a problem as Eunice has been sucking hard everytime my MIL fed her last time. And even I fed her with bottles before when I had sore nipples and I pumped out to feed her through bottles. Though many said it'll cause nipple confusion or baby will associate bottles with mummy and reject nipples, thank God it didn't happen to me then. So, I never thought it will be a problem to bottle feed her.

Until when we defroze one of the stocked up express breastmilk (EBM) for her. EG tried to feed her when she started fussing for feed, and I was standing at the side looking. Eunice was pushing out the teat with her tongue and crying. I was shocked to see her behaving that way. I never thought that she'll reject bottle!

We smelled the milk. We thought it spoil as it has some milky smell while fresh EBM is odorless. So we threw away the first 5oz of milk which I collected so susah payah... We took down another 5oz to defroze and thinking of trying again the next day. In the meantime, I found out from internet that defroze EBM does have some milky smell comparing to fresh EBM. So, the milk was OK.

I tried to fed her once also and failed miserably. She's hungry but she refused to suck the bottle teat! And it has been war everytime. So we tried continuously everyday at least once to twice the week before we sent Eunice to babysitter. We tried many methods where I went upstair (I even went bathing so that she can't smell me) and EG trying to feed downstair, or he went upstair and I was hiding in the study room. EG even tried to feed in the guest room thinking maybe the master bedroom also has my smell. But this girl she just cried and cried, kept pushing out the teat with her tongue. EG tried to squeeze some milk into her mouth and she swallowed a bit and kept crying again.

She even pretended to sleep! Gosh... I heard EG telling her upstair "Eunice, please don't pretend that you're sleeping... it's not funny...".. But everytime, she won the battle as she will be crying so loud until EG worried that neighbours will be thinking we're abusing baby at home.

But one thing is, when she was crying, and when I picked her over from EG, she'll stop immediately, and when I lifted up my shirt, she showed her very cute anticipating face again and when she sucked, she sucked really really hard - she's really really hungry.

Because of this - not only I wasted so many oz of my EBM, I was also dead worry that if she will be able to be fed well in the babysitter's place though many told me not to worry as (1) the bbsitter is very experienced and they will spoon feed her (2) baby won't starve themselves. But the thought that she'll cry very loud until give up and give in to bottles since I can't suddenly appear to direct latch her breaks my heart.

Inside me I still couldn't understand why will full direct latching for 2 weeks caused her to reject bottles.

Thank God that my parents came visit on the weekend before I sent Eunice to babysitter. I got smarter and when I'm expressing the EBM, I kept extra 2oz for my mum to feed her rather than keep defrozing the stock up for babysitter. Again, I went upstair bathing when I let my mum feed her.

When I came out from the bathroom, surprisingly I don't hear any crying. I only heard my mum said... "Eunice guai... Eunice good girl... drink your milk..." I didn't even dare to come down or make any noise as I scared she'll smell me again and dun want to drink from bottle.

After 10 minutes, my mum called me and told me that my little girl has FINISHED the milk! I was SOOOOOOOO SURPRISED that I smsed EG straight away. The next day, we tried again with the frozen breastmilk to make sure she's not rejecting the frozen breastmilk now, and again, she finished them all. Gosh, I felt so relief after that. On the 3rd day, I got lazy... I was walking around the house when my mum was trying to feed her. And guess what, this little girl she is just too smart. She didn't cry this time, but she didn't want to drink as well... So I direct latched her again. But I'm already much relief that she's neither rejecting the bottles, nor the frozen EBM. At least now I know she'll be fed well @ babysitter's place.

True enough, when Eunice went to babysitter's place, she can drink 15oz a day with no problem. And now, it has been increased to almost 20oz a day! I have to work real hard in pumping the supply for her!

Anyway, I still couldn't understand why Eunice will associate EG with me and refused to take the bottle from him. And I finally experienced that babies are really very smart....!

PS: Daddy was devastated coz he can't feed his own daughter. But then, we'll try again in near future to get Daddy bottlefeed his cutie pie. :)