My First Breastfeeding Adventure

For c-sect mum, until I can start walking, nurses in Island Hospital actually pushed baby Eunice to me for breastfeeding. We have made our point very clear that we want exclusive breastfeeding, not knowing what's ahead of us. After baby is fed, they will then bring baby back to nursery for sleeping. So the overall stay is quite relaxing, and I thought I quite enjoy the bonding with baby during breastfeeding.

Until we brought Eunice back....

Eunice kept crying and crying, and I'm not sure what to do when she cries. I tried to feed her, sometimes she will suck the nipple for >1 hour to 2 hours, and sleep, and after 30 minutes she'll cry again. And when she cries, her whole face will turn dark red and scream at the top of her voice... I was totally helpless looking at her crying. At night, I told EG and his mum to sleep in another room - no point having everyone suffering together - and I tried to feed her everytime she cries. This caused me with all the backache, hand ache, shoulder ache, and sore nipples and etc due to carrying baby + lack of sleep. My really sore / cracked nipples seriously discouraged me in continue breastfeeding. I'll scream and kick when Eunice first latch on as it's REALLY painful and the pain will be gone only after she starts sucking. Having doing this for two days ONLY I'm already totally exhausted and thinking of giving up with breastfeeding.

When the government clinic nurse came and checked on Eunice, she told us that Eunice has jaundice and asked us to go do the blood test ASAP. We went and her jaundice level has reached the dangerous level for a 6-day old baby. We admitted her to Columbia Asia Taiping for phototherapy. I know that jaundice is common for newborn but my heart ached like crazy and I couldn't control my tears from keep rolling down esp. when I see her just keep sleeping in my arm (jaundice babies like to sleep). I also admitted as a lodger as I want to breastfeed her.

Eunice was admitted for 1.5 days and discharged on the next day. In the 1.5 days, I lost track of how many times I was called to nursery to feed her, until I was again totally exhausted. And nurses in Columbia Asia Taiping were not very supportive in breastfeeding (unlike Island Hospital in Penang) and they kept pestering me to mix with formula milk. Thank God that EG was there all the time and he made his point very clear that as long as I have supply, we won't give formula milk. And everytime we'll be in the nursery to make sure Eunice is quiet and calm under the phototherapy before we left - once we stayed on till 12.30am - imagine how exhausted EG was being running up and down the whole day, + worrying for his precious.

In order for Eunice to be discharged soon, she has to be fed a lot to poo, and make sure she's full while going through the phototherapy so that she won't scream for milk. Phototherapy is hot and she'll get dehydrated and hungry fast. The nurse suggested to me to express my breastmilk. I didn't want to as if you read up any breastfeeding material, they will tell u not to introduce bottle in the first few weeks, and God, it's only my first week with Eunice. And the amount of milk that you expressed might just disappoint you greatly since there's a poissibily that the milk hasn't came in yet.

However, I gave in, feeling so useless that I have only breastfed for less than a week and I had to introduce bottles. All negative thought came into my mind challenging me if I can make it for breastfeeding. My really sore / cracked nipples were the main reasons me giving in to expressing. I'll scream when Eunice first latch on and the pain will be gone only after she starts sucking. Now, I really salute all the mothers who did exclusive breastfeeding! I smsed / called up friends who did breastfeeding and asked if all the things that I have gone through is normal. So, I used the breastpump in the hospital to pump out all my milk supply so that they can bottle feed Eunice faster and get her under the therapy more rather than having her being fed by me more!

I really thank God that most of the time when I expressed, I can get from 2 to 2.5oz. Even the nurses commented that I have quite a bit of milk supply **shy**. To make sure no formula milk is given to Eunice, I set my alarm clock to wake up after 2 -3 hourly to express my breastmilk for them to store to feed Eunice. The 2nd day, I discharged since no point staying in the hospital as lodger when I can express my milk. I came home, slept for 1 hour, EG helped to setup all sterilizer and breastpump and sterilized everything, and I continue pumping again using the Avent manual pump. I'm very surprise that with Avent manual pump, it's even more effective than the Medela electric pump in the hospital (though I'm not sure what model is that). I could easily pump out 3oz of milk. Quickly, we sent the EBM (Expressed Breast Milk) over to hospital again as EG really doesn't want them to give Eunice any formula milk. (He's even more dedicated than me in supporting breastfeeding :P)

Finally Eunice was discharged at 6pm and I was told to keep breastfeeding her to make sure she poo and pee a lot to flush out the excess bilirubin in order for jaundice to cure. It's not easy of course but to make sure she's well, I had to make sure I'm strong too.